by Nicholas Driscoll.
Art by Sam Messerly.
Click here to read from the beginning.
“Good morning.”
I opened my eyes. The head of a dinosaur was in my window. I leapt a full four feet out of my bed, hitting my head on the ceiling and crying out at the top of my lungs.
“Shh, you will wake the neighbors,” said the tyrannosaur.
“What are you doing?” I said. “What time is it?”
The tyrannosaur smiled his big, toothy smile.
“I don’t know how to read your clocks,” he said. “I just got up with the sun. And I am hungry.”
I looked at the clock.
“It’s barely five o’clock!” I exclaimed. “I can’t get up now! This is my favorite time to sleep!”
“We need to go get breakfast,” said the tyrannosaur. “I assume you are a man of your word. You said you would have breakfast with me.”
“I said, and I quote, ‘I have work tomorrow,’” I retorted.
“Yes,” said the tyrannosaur. “It’s your first official day as my guide. That is what you meant, right?”
“No!” I said. “I am an electrician! You should see the pile of electronics I need to fix scattered all over my house, not to mention the buildings around town with wiring problems! How did you think I could afford this house? And that garage that you slept in last night?”
The tyrannosaur smiled blankly at me.
“So are you ready for breakfast?” he said.
“Let me sleep for another hour!” I yelled.
I pulled the blankets over my head and tried to sleep. However, the image of a tyrannosaur watching me through the window kept barging into my head. That image was not conducive for sleep. Neither was the loud crunching sound coming from outside. I think I may have lain there a full thirty seconds before I threw the blankets off and dashed to the window. I leaned out, and my eyes bulged when I saw him.
The tyrannosaur was still standing next to my house, but now he was eating my bushes very noisily.
“Those are my bushes!” I bleated. “They aren’t food! Are you really a tyrannosaurus? You aren’t, are you?”
Hearing that, the tyrannosaur stood up straighter and taller than I had ever seen him before and he gave me what I think was an indignant scowl.
“I am indeed a tyrannosaurus,” said the old lizard.
“Oh, yeah?” I said. “Since when do tyrannosaurs eat bushes? Prove to me that you are a tyrannosaur!”
“You want me to prove it?” said the tyrannosaur, a light in his eye.
“Yes!” I shouted stubbornly.
And with that as his signal, the tyrannosaur pounced forward and snapped me up in his jaws.
Suffice it to say… it wasn’t pleasant.
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