By me, with art by Sam Messerly.
Click here to read from the beginning.
The reporters interviewed Punchface first about his pseudo-victory.
“I knew I could defeat even the king of the dinosaurs,” he said while nursing his hand—apparently he broke several fingers punching Warbell’s massive jaw. “In other words, the terrible lizards aren’t so terrible when they are faced with the might of my terrible fists! Ooh, ouch.”
Then finally it was Warbell’s turn.
“What do you think of people sports?” said one reporter.
“Well,” said Warbell, “If they are all like this, I think I’ll refrain from participating in the future. Someone asked me to try Muay Thai next, but I am afraid it wouldn’t work out very well. Though I do have long legs at least.”
“Do you think human-dinosaur sports might have a future?” asked another reporter.
“It’s hard to imagine,” said Warbell. “You don’t have swimming competitions against dolphins, and sane people don’t try to wrestle bears. Why make it even worse with dinosaurs? Though maybe chess would be good.”
There were several rounds of inane questions, but then a reporter asked a question that made Warbell pause.
“Are you familiar with the Tyrannosaurus Alexis?” asked one reporter, a lanky fellow with awkward glasses and an impressive goatee.
“What?” said Warbell.
“There have been a number of dinosaur fossils found near and around Final Pumpkin,” said the reporter. “One of them was a nearly complete tyrannosaurus skeleton. It was called Tyrannosaurus Alexis because the paleontologist had a hamster named Alexis at the time, and he felt the hamster had the personality of a predatory dinosaur.”
Warbell seemed dumbstruck for a moment, and I was rather surprised as well. Who names their hamster “Alexis”?
“Where is Tyrannosaurus Alexis?” asked Warbell quietly.
“Over in First Pumpkin City,” said the reporter. “At the First Pumpkin Paleontological Museum and Café—it’s on semi-permanent display. Should be only about twenty miles from here. There are a number of other dinosaur fossils from around Final Pumpkin as well.”
“I see,” said Warbell. “If I may, then please let me change the subject. I have a special announcement to make.”
Warbell paused, and I felt my pulse quicken. The old lizard took a look around the assembled crowd.
“This may be a little premature,” Warbell said. “But I think I may know what caused the disappearing death virus.”
An audible gasp rang out from the crowd. All eyes turned to Warbell. My own peepers were so wide I felt I’d never blink again.
“I need to be sure, however,” Warbell continued. “Dinosaur kind has technology that your people do not yet possess. I am using that technology to assist in uncovering the cause of the disease, but I need your help. I did not want to say anything unless I felt relatively certain. But time is important with this matter. If I am correct, then the longer we wait, the worse this situation will become—possibly exponentially worse. I realize it is difficult for many of you to discuss your medical history even with your king, but I am asking because I don’t want this horrible affliction to continue amongst you my people—and it doesn’t threaten only you. If I am correct, the disappearing death virus threatens animals and plants as well—all life on earth. But I want to be sure, and so if any of you, any of you, has had symptoms related to the disappearing death virus, please, make an appointment and come talk with me. It could mean life or death for you and your people in the future.”