By Nicholas Driscoll.
Art by Sam Messerly.
Click here to read from the beginning.
Before the old lizard moved into my garage, the city of Final Pumpkin was making all kinds of plans to spruce up the joint with a bed and dinosaur-sized shower and a variety of other accoutrements. Basically they wanted to make my humble two-car garage into a five-star dino hotel. Well, they wanted to until they saw the incredible bill from the architect, designers, and plumbers.
“Don’t worry,” said the old lizard. “I am a dinosaur. I am used to sleeping on hard floors.”
Frankly, I had been looking forward to the dinosaur-sized jacuzzi that Mayor Pilky had proposed. I figured the dinosaur wouldn’t be using it ALL the time, after all, so whenever he was out with his fans… well, who wouldn’t want to take a dunk in a jacuzzi the size of most public pools?
Actually, it seemed like once I agreed to house the old lizard, all the promises from the mayor kind ofdried up. The enormous paycheck lost a few zeroes now that I was the officially sponsored t-rex ambassador. After some meetings and an interview with the local newspaper and a limited amount of celebrity, I ended up a schmuck with a dinosaur holding a pillow on my front lawn.
“You’re the ambassador,” said the old lizard. “Guide me.”
I showed him the remote control for the garage.
“Push this button to open the garage,” I said. “Push this button to close.”
Somehow the tyrannosaur managed to hold the remote control in one claw, the pillow in the other. I turned to go.
“What’s for breakfast in the morning?” the dinosaur asked.
“I’m not your cook,” I said. “I’m not getting paid enough for that. The food bills alone would bankrupt me.”
“But you are my guide, right?” the dinosaur said.
“Yes,” I said. “I can guide you to a tree in the morning, or walk you to a nice restaurant.”
I wasn’t really serious.
“Okay, then let’s have breakfast together tomorrow morning,” said the dinosaur.
The old lizard must have thought I had been serious.
“I have work tomorrow,” I said.
“Yes, your new job as my guide,” the dinosaur said. “I am looking forward to breakfast tomorrow.”
And then the tyrannosaur ducked into my garage. His tail disappeared inside, and I stood there watching as the garage door slowly squealed shut in front of me. I wasn’t too sure about this arrangement, but I was glad I could keep an eye on that suspicious lizard at least.
And I kept thinking about those strange stones I had found under the house. What could they be?
I was almost scared to find out.