By Nicholas Driscoll
“You are a human.”
You nod at the robot as you step off the spaceship. It’s your first day on Mars, and you are really tired from the flight over. The robot guides you into the base, but it continues to stare at you.
“We are glad that you came,” says the robot. “We needed a human on the farm.”
“What?” you say.
“We are a small colony and we have several single women,” says the robot. “You can date one of them.”
“Wait, I am here to work as a farmer!” you protest. “I want to make a great farm on Mars! The best farm!”
“The best farm has a wife and babies,” says the robot. “We need more babies on Mars. It’s in your contract, too. You have to marry someone. That’s why one of the requirements for this job was that you are fertile.”
“My gosh,” you say, and you realize it’s important to read contracts very carefully.
“We have three women on Mars Farm 104,” says the robot. “You can choose which one you want to date. Food specialist Jane. She is thirty-one. She is not beautiful. Some people say she has a funny laugh. Or you can date Yui, the laborer. She is twenty-three, works hard and is very strong. Or you can date Monica, the doctor. She is twenty-nine. She takes care of the other humans on the base, but everyone hates her. However, she is fertile. Which do you choose?”