You decide to go out to dinner. Mars has a big restaurant run by robots, and you can order almost any kind of cuisine. You sit together at a metal table with dim lights, and you look at the menu together.
“I am going to order a pizza,” you say. “The pepperoni.”
“Do you usually order pizza?” asks Jane, and she looks alarmed.
“What’s wrong?” you ask.
“Nutrition,” says Jane. “You need to think about nutrition. The balance. The pizza here is all fake, which makes it even worse than earth pizza. Not just meat, but gross fake meat. And the cheese… it’s not healthy at all.”
“Well, but, it’s pizza,” you say. “I just want something that tastes good.”
Jane laughs.
“My man, that’s a good way to get heart disease,” she says. “Fat food always comes with a side order of an early death, if you know what I mean.”
All throughout the dinner, Jane points out calories, nutrition, and various facts about every dish and drink you order. She counts out the calories you eat and the vitamins and minerals. She talks endlessly the sugar and salt and fat in everything.
By the end of the evening, you are going crazy.
“Thanks for inviting me out and having dinner with me,” says Jane. “My goodness, I think we even managed to have a healthy meal at a restaurant! And they say it’s impossible.”
“Uh, yeah,” you say. “Thanks a bunch.”
As you walk back to your room, you realize your mistake. Jane thinks about food all the time. Going to dinner is the worst way to get to know her. You learned all the most annoying things about her first, without getting to know her best side.
The date was a disaster.
The end.